"Healthy snacks instead of candy?! You're fired!"

"These days, all the elve's work gets outsourced."

"C'mon, now. You can be honest. Does this dress make my butt look big?"

"Santa canceled the trip. These days, everyone's just giving gift cards."

"Remember when Santa used to talk to children on his lap? Now he just instant messages them on his laptop."

"Will a current automotive term finally help you understand? Leo, I have zero percent interest in you."

"The turkey's a bit overdone. You have your choice of dark meat and very dark meat."